Love Is in Social Media: Make It Or Break It!

Love is in Social Media

Oh, I am growing old. After some heart-warming feedback that I received on my first blog post, I have been thinking about the topic of my next post for the last two days and most of the time, my keyboard started typing stories of more than two decades old!

Last week people around the world celebrated Valentine's Day, with millions of couple probably exchanging roses, chocolates and  what-not, while the cash counters of companies have definitely been ringing sweet bells in the ears of their owners. Exactly ten days before that many Indians celebrated Basant Panchami, the day to worship Maa Saraswati- the Goddess of Knowledge. I may have doubt as to how much we love Maa Saraswati, but I have no doubt that Bengalis love her Puja day. Why?
This is the day when young girls come out of their homes draped in newly bought yellow sarees with red borders. What a sight it is to the eyes of a person who loves to love! The laughter of the girls as they proceed towards their schools or colleges fill the skies of Bengal and makes one really love-sick.

Those were the days when love was in the air. Now love is more in online social networks. We hang around in our virtual space from the comfort of our desk, trying to seek love from far-flung parts of the world talking through chat sessions with strangers who perhaps come from different sociocultural backgrounds. Around eight years ago I first time saw this kind of online love encounter, through a very close friend. Then gradually I met more friends who found love blooming in the garden of virtual space. About a fortnight back, newspapers were flashing the story of a 41-year old woman from California who came to India to marry a 25 year old farmer from Panipat whom she met on Facebook. This is just one of the many stories which keep coming and perhaps excite the young Indians to pursue their online love.

And you think Facebook or for that matter, in other social network is just one of the places to find your love? Then you are greatly mistaken. Having your profile in social networks is a must, if you want to be projected as trust-worthy. It seems that my dear young readers are on the verge of closing this blog to start their new profile in different networks! It is actually that important.

I remember an evening more than twenty years ago when my relatives were searching a bridegroom for one of my cousins in our ancestral village. As was the procedure those days, the family of the bridegroom came to see my cousin and her family. To be honest, I did not feel good the way this entire process was conducted, although I still was not even in my teen-years. In a typical Bengali fashion those days, she was asked to walk back and forth and I don't remember the outcome of this selection process. But, definitely there were a lot of investigation on the sly to know about the actual character and condition of both sides!

Now I find that people are now more interested to know their prospective life-partners through these social network sites. Some of my colleagues have even gone to the extent of declaring that they won't marry someone who does not have an authentic social media profile!

Relationship & Social Media

But dear, you have heard just one side of the story. The same profile can be the cause of your heart-break too. A survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyer found three years ago that 20% of the divorces involve Facebook and a staggering 80% of divorce lawyers also reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence of cheating. It's not only Facebook, but other networks too which have the potential to cause the damage. Another study done almost a year ago found that high level of Facebook usage is associated with negative relationship outcomes , especially for newer couples, who have been in relationship for 1 year to less than 3 years (thank God, I am not in that category any more)!

So, what are you thinking, dear reader? Are you in doubt whether to use Facebook for relationship or not! Don't worry too much. As a Valentine's Day gift this year, data scientists at Facebook revealed the pattern of posting status update at different stages of entering in a relationship. This is what they stated.

During the 100 days before the relationship starts, we observe a slow but steady increase in the number of timeline posts shared between the future couple. When the relationship starts ("day 0"), posts begin to decrease. We observe a peak of 1.67 posts per day 12 days before the relationship begins, and a lowest point of 1.53 posts per day 85 days into the relationship. Presumably, couples decide to spend more time together, courtship is off, and online interactions give way to more interactions in the physical world.

No of Facebook posts in different phases of relationship

Besides this, Facebook came up with five more studies to help poor love-hungry souls by announcing the US cities where one is more likely to find singles or enter into a relationship. They analyzed the effect of age and religion on relationship status and even went to the extreme of exploring if seasonal effect has anything to do with love!

What does it mean and how does it help you? It simply means that the social networks are emerging as the undisputed rulers of our lives. The virtual world knows more about us than our real friends do, probably. And within the next few years, don't be surprised if Facebook replaces the good old neighborhood astrologer to predict when you will fall in love or whether you are going through a patchy relationship stage, even though you may not precisely declare the same to the world. But will that restrict us from falling in love? Of course, not! Let us spread love, one person at a time, or maybe even more!

[Cartoon courtesy: Mr. Ajay Tejwani. You may find more of his cartoons here]

[This post was originally made in my WordPress blog on 18 Feb 2014. You can see the same here]